


So there I was

by DaggerDoll



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29731143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaggerDoll/pseuds/DaggerDoll
Summary: A Tale of What Could Be
Relationships: Protagonist - Relationship





	1. How We Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Writing drunk and editing sober is catharsis followed by regret sometimes, but I hope you all enjoy regardless.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between A Woman's Heart and Paper

Dear Journal. I need to tell you something. A story of two women. One seeing herself for the first time in too long a while. The other, well that's something still unfolding.

_"The night we met was a chance meeting on a beach that I enjoyed for the sun, then the breeze in the evening. I noticed her as I came in from my enjoyment of the natural beauty. She was that also of course. She never had to try. I couldn't explain it. Was it her aura and form? The way she raised her pitch to sound higher than it would normally? She wanted to sound cute. I could tell and certainly I didn't mind._

_She was gorgeous. Her way of looking at the world was unusual so to speak. She saw the world not as it was, but as it should be. Free of corruption, she said. Free of tyranny, free of bigotry. The scope, the breadth of hopes were massive. I found that intoxicating. My world wasn't perfect by a long stretch. Where I envisioned what could be and should, she dared to live it. The lack of it hurt her. It was her dream and for that I loved her._

_Why do I write this? Why do I tell myself that? It's because she isn't wrong. It is because the chaos I envision is the chaos she believes in. I dance the same dance, I sing the same song. I wanted to embrace her and I want be apart of her world. It should be easy. A brush against her lips with mine. To simply lay in her bed beside her would be paradise, but I cannot. She sees it and I do. It is that which ought to be forbidden, but still I dare it. She dares it too. She tempts me and vexes me. I wish to be part of her and for her to be a part of me. If we could be it would be perfect and I would be happy. Still I can only pen this and hope she understands my torment._   
  
_I wish to strip myself bare and embrace her. I want to give her my lust, my dreams and my love. I envision everything, but in the end it is only phantoms. Oh how it torments me! To be part of her world and have her embrace me would be paradise. If her fingers could only trail over my body and bring me to euphoria I would be grateful._

_So tonight I pray: Maybe for brief moment that she sees me the same way I see her. Maybe we could be intertwined and one day more than that. If we could, maybe the damage done could be undone and we could heal. Little by little we could be as we were supposed to be. I could be whole and she could see herself as I see her. She is perfect, she is. She just doesn't know it yet. I will write more tomorrow after I pray to the sky and the stars that we, one day, could become one. She could drive me to scream euphoria and leave me trembling. I could be breathless and high were she to pleasure me with her mouth and words, but for now I sleep and dream. I hope one day reality recognizes my dreams as real and resets reality to not what is, but what I want it to be."_


	2. Different Worlds

"It feels impossible she exists", Adamina said to air itself as she flopped on the bed. She continued to draw on her art pad the face of she who captivated her heart. "Because she didn't have to try to make me feel anything. All she did was be herself and let me be me."

Her stomach churned at the idea that her whole life she doubted her feelings. She called herself bi-sexual and took heat from both sides. Most of one side worried it was a phase and she would leave them for a man. The other leaned far too much into the idea of threesomes. It was there she was stuck between two worlds. She wanted to believe and did for a while that that was her lot in life until she glimpsed outside the veil.

Cracks were starting to form. The truth was that she did it to please others just for the small amounts of approval. She didn't dream of being married to a man despite being engaged to one. She dreamt of soft touches and emotions entangled, eventually becoming inseparable. 

"I smile more now people say. It hurt at first. To feel and cry and be okay with that, but then all the weight lifted and I felt like I could breathe."

_And so without even a fight the walls came down and the veil burned to ash._


	3. Destination Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Bad Idea deserves another

_Were I to confess my sins down on my knees I would be damned. My desires threaten to tear at my world, but here I am dressing for my own demise and not regretting a second of it._

Adamina styled her light blonde locks in the mirror straight down and framed her lightly tanned skinned and green eyes in a black eyeliner. She applied a complimentary red lipstick to her lips and her clothes were an all black everything. "Going out with girls! Don't know where but I am told it strictly no pictures or else!"

That was a lie. She damn well knew it and for a moment hesitated as she grabbed a hoodie that swallowed nearly all of her slight and short frame. Five foot four inches was nothing to brag about, but still in the range of cute.

As she made her way out the door her heart pounded. This was what people worried about she supposed, the potential pool she would be attracted to. She sighed heavily, only perpetuating the stereotype. She really had no idea why she was doing this, but went on with it anyways. She called her bestie if only to have an alibi and Lilith picked up she spoke quickly before the hesitation set in.

"I need you to say I am with you if asked. All night. I am going out and don't want Eric to know where I went. I....need to clear my head of an idea or confirm it, but don't want him to worry over what may be nothing."

Lil naturally agreed having owed her more than a few alibis over the years. Usually it was Adamina covering for Lil, but tonight was Mina's turn, she thought as she stepped into a car to take a ride toward destination unknown.


End file.
